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March 25 court room humorLATTE OF THE DAY: CINNALMOND CINNAMON AND ALMOND
I thought that maybe we could use a bit of humor today... I have been busy with guard stuff and just spending time in the yard and cleaning things... more precise going through boxes that I still haven't unpacked from when we moved in here and that was 13 years ago... lol... anyway back to the humor... we all have seen things like this but I had this emailed to me... these are quite funny......
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.......REAL statements made by real people in courts of law....I wonder how some of these lawyers got their degrees.....
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. ________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh? ____________________________________________ And the best for last ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. What you ARE is God's gift to you. What you BECOME is your gift to God!!! March 20 interviewsLATTE OF THE DAY: CREAMY MILANO VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE MILANO
I had a job interview today... If I think about it really hard, it could have been two job interviews... when I first filled out the application it was for one job, however, they had a second job open up after I turned in the application and my friend that works for the company told her boss that I would be great at the second job aka office assistant... We spent most of the interview talking about the second job... the first job aka line locator pays more but is more stress and way more than I can do with the security job...
The OA position would work out great with the security guard job... While the interview went well, I am not going to get my hopes too high... he still had a few interviews to do and would let the people know by Friday if they had the jobs... So I will wait...
My security guard job keeps changing the hours he gave me this weekend... I started out with three 8 hour days from 2 to 10 and now I have 2 days from 4 to midnight... by the time the actual days get here it will be down to nothingness because someone else needed the different hours... Don't get me wrong, I like my boss, but sometimes he just doesn't make very much sense to me with what he does...
I have been busy the last couple of days... I have been working on a costume for a 5th grade girl that I teach at missionettes on Wednesdays... she is doing a play and needed a dog costume... I will finish it in the morning... I have also been trying to get along with Mrfit... it is not easy not letting what he says or does bother me... I feel physically and emotionally drained at the end of each day... I have been helping him study for an anatomy test he had tonight...
I have to go for now... enjoy your day and night
HUGS and PRAYERS March 18 spring bloomsLATTE OF THE DAY: BAKLAVA PRALINE, HAZELNUT, WALNUT, BIT OF HONEY
I told Sandy I would post a couple pics of my pre-spring growing things... By things I mean my daylilies that are up and my tulips... I took these pics today... We had a skiff of snow yesterday... and frost on the windows this morning... as you will see by the pics, these day lillies have been growing for a bit...
Have had a pretty decent weekend with Mrfit... I think it is only because I have really tried this weekend to understand his side of things and not let the things he says and does bother me...
Have a good evening...
After looking at it in normal mode the pics aren't as good as I would have liked so I will try to get better ones this week...
HUGS and PRAYERS
March 16 In Need Of PrayersLATTE OF THE DAY: MACAROON COCONUT, VANILLA, CHOC BISCOTTI
I know a lot of the people that stop here to read this are good, God-fearing people... I need you to pray for Mrfit, or at least answers for myself as to what I should do to help him... I will explain some things....
About 8 years ago, things in our marriage got real bad... he left for a month... went back to his mom and dad and started talking about splitting up for good... We still loved each other but we knew there was something missing, something wrong with our marriage...
What was wrong was the fact that we did not start our marriage out with God in it, and didn't invite him in it after we had gotten married... We both loved each other still but we knew we needed to work on things...
He moved back home and we started going to church the next morning... things slowly got better... we prayed together, talked together, worked through things together, and were friends again...
Then....
He started missing church... he had this come up or that come up... pretty soon he started getting angry with me if I didn't stop going to go do what he wanted to on Sunday mornings... I should have seen it then but I didn't... I just figured he was tired after working and that he wanted to spend the time with me while he unwinded... I believed him when he said he would just fall asleep after working all night ...
He would still teach his class of royal rangers on Wednesday nights... that is he did until he started his EMT classes wnd they were on WEdnesdays...
Soon, I stopped going to the services because it just started fights when I did... I still listened to the services as he slept because our church puts them on it's website... I still taught my missionettes class and still do...
When I ask about why he stopped going, he said that he is just a bad person that can't live up to anyone's standards and God wasn't going to allow him into heaven anyway for the way he treats me... He has made comments about how he is going to go to hell several times... He has made comments about how everyone at that church are judgemental and hypocritical... He has made comments about how he has no friends and no one likes him...
He has lots of friends that miss him at church... he was a positive role model for some of the boys... they miss him...
I brought home something that his friend and the children's pastor gave me for him for men... I don't think he has even opened it yet... I don't know why he walked away from God but I do know he has walked away... I do know that Satan has gotten ahold of him and is the root of this "ME" attitude that he has had for a very long time... I know that it is what is leaking through to my daughter... I know I can't fight what is going on anymore...
My daughter keeps asking me why we don't just get a divorce and get it over with... I keep telling her that I love him and God loves him and he will come back around...
My faith is shaken up now... I don't want to lose my husband, my family... I don't want this hurt that I have inside also... I know that a divorce won't stop that... it might eliminate the immediate trouble but I still don't feel that God wants me, I mean us, to get one...
I am so confused... I need prayers... My husband needs prayers... my daughter needs prayers...
Greg, You will never know how much your site helps me through my days... Thank you...
March 14 arggggLATTE OF THE DAY: JAVA JUMBLE AMARETTO, COFFEE SYRUP, AND IRISH CREAM
I have bulbs up in two of my flower gardens. This is good news for me because it means spring is on it's way... perhaps I will shake the rest of the blues I seem to have trying to linger... I need sunshine now and some good old fashioned outdoor work...
Mrfit and Beccaboo want me to go to work fulltime again... AND DO ALL THE HOUSEWORK... this is not acceptable and I informed them of that... I also can not yet trust my daughter... she is still trying to lie when the truth would be so much easier on her... and me as well... at this point, grounding her isn't working very well... it punishes me just as much as it does her because every time I try to enforce it, I get into trouble for being angry at her or yelling at her...
I don't know why I do not get the backing and the support he is supposed to give me... I don't know why he wants me to go back to work full time either... He tells me he wants me to stay at home and do what it is I am doing in one breathe and in the next tells me I need to go to work so he can do his studying... No he does not help around the house... even the repair jobs I have to do myself... the "we" he means when he says we need to fix something is me and my know-how...
He doesn't spend time with me unless it circles around him... nothing I do matters to him unless it circles around him... everything must circle around him... self-centered.... I pray for him a lot... but I am afraid that Satan has taken ahold of that part of his life because his immediate family matters not to him... even his mother gets more time with him than I do...
I feel abandoned... I feel hurt... I feel crushed... I feel alone... I don't like feeling these things... I am not ready to tear apart what God put together either... So I must work through this... March 12 Am I Older Than Dirt?LATTE OF THE DAY: WHITE RAZUMPTIOUS WHITE CHOCOLATE, CARAMEL, AND RASPBERRY
I have always felt that I was either born in the wrong year or my soul was so badly hurt as an infant that I have aged beyond my physical years. Almost all of my friends are at least 10 years older than I am. They are going through roughly the same things I do or are about to. Their kids are the same ages as mine for the most part. With the exception of the menopausal issue, I look to them for guidance and when it come to the before-mentioned, I am the one they come to for advice and suggestions because I have BTDT... aka been there done that...
Most of the people my age and younger that I do hang out with frustrate me or make me giggle... for they either don't know what is ahead of them or make choices that are going to bite them in the behind later on.
So it amused me when I received a phone call this weekend from someone I haven't talked to in 10 years. It was a person I went to school with. HIGH SCHOOL that is. She said she had her mother get my phone number from my dad because her mom and my dad still talk. There isn't a lot of people in the small town I grew up in that still talk to my dad. My mom still lives there but my dad lives over 150 miles away from there. She was surprised when her mother told her I lived where I do because, to my surprise as well, she has lived in the same town for the last 7 years. She lives on the southwestern side of town, while I live in a community (called Evergreen) off the eastern side of Kalispell. Kalispell is big enough that it doesn't entirely surprise me that we haven't seen each other but, at the same time, it does amaze me because I am not entirely not known either... there are a lot of people that know me. And I mean a lot... for one reason or another, I am known... doesn't mean that everyone of them likes me or hang out with me but people do know me.
Anyway, this person and I talked about what we do, which I forgot to tell her that while I didn't work at the deli anymore that I was still a security guard (hehehe my bad).... we talked about my oldest which she often walked with me in PE while I was pregnant with... we talked about church because we both grew up in the same church doing the same classes etc...etc...etc... We talked about Tom for a minute... and we talked a bit about her family and how she was.....
Then she hit me... it was time to start thinking about the 20th class reunion... WOAH... I had been thinking about it on Friday but didn't think much of it... I hadn't decided if I was going to go to it or not... She asked me if I was planning on attending... I hadn't decided yet because most of them by the last wo years of school were way to childish for me... the things I was doing I was doing with those that were 10 years older and plus... I didn't have the time for them and they didn't exactly make time for me... Instead, they made trouble because, as I pointed out, it was a small town and I had a son and was not about to stop going to games and stop talking to kids from other schools that were my friends all because it embarrassed my classmates for others to know that I had a kid... most everyone else I knew from the other towns loved my son... he glowed with goodness... he radiated love from his very young soul... and it is what we all needed during those years of school... he was a bubbly one that got everyone else to giggle and have fun... and he did it most of the time... while those I went to school with thought I was doind some sort of drug to get in the state I was in, those I hung out with knew that most of the time it was just from the fun we were all having with the bubbly one in tow... So, as you can see, I hadn't really thought about going because there was some ill harbored feelings to deal with...
And then...
It made me realize that I am getting older... not old yet but getting older... I don't have the patience that I once had... I don't have the time for the idiocracies that I once put up with... I find things that I would have once done silly and time wasting... I am amazed at how I have changed in 20 years... I realize that I am not the only one that has changed... So perhaps it is time to think about going to the reunion, after all, if I have changed this much how much has everyone else changed????
It is not mine to question the ways of God, but if this one person can change from what she was in the last two years of high school, then perhaps others can too... March 11 Hello again :)LATTE OF THE DAY: PEACHERRY MOCHA PEACH WITH A HINT OF CHERRY AND CHOCOLATE
Sorry I have been gone for a bit... that first week or two, my one to two days a week turned into full time again and then, well, I am not sure what happened.... I think it boils down to the fact that my family doesn't like it when I am happy... At least that is what it seems like anymore...
Let me start with Tommy moved out!!! YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So there is less stress that way... and I told him that he would not be able to move back in because it was too close to him being 18. No choice... he is not coming back and undoing what I have been working on for over a month now...
Which leads me to why I haven't been on... it seems that if I have time to be on here, then I have time to be doing everything else for everyone else... If I crochet, then I am not cleaning.... even if I had spent almost all day cleaning something, I don't seem to be able to sit and do what I want without one of two people being nasty mean spirited about it... so most days I gave up trying...
Work was another added stress.... the woman we hired at Christmas time to take part of the hours I had been working turned out to be one manilpulative woman... she is still there, she hasn't quit.... But she made work unbareable.... she would come in and tell me not to stress her out without me saying a word to her... she would tell me that I couldn't take a lunch because she had stuff to do... she would make me help the customers that she didn't feel like helping because they looked at her wrong or she didn't like how they were... she would tell me that I couldn't leave a couple minutes early but she would leave 15 minutes early... it goes on and on... Then two weeks ago, I did a massive no-no... I got into an argument over a customer with her in front of the customer and a Customer Service Manager... Needless to say, I got called into the Store Director's office for an hour long behind chewing....
I could deal with that, because, after all I did start the fight... I knew better than to argue in front of the customer.... It does not matter that I was 15 minutes past the time I was to clock out... It does not matter that I had an appointment at 1:30 that I really needed to go to... I knew better and that is the bottom line on that...
It would have been ok and been done with if she would have stopped at that... nooooooooooooooooooo........... She only got smugger about things... I had to do things her way, even though I had been there months longer..... her thinking and the thinking of the deli supervisor and the store director was that she works more hours, therefore she is worth the higher pay and can tell me how I need to do the things that I have been doing for those months that she wasn't hired there...
The final blow to the whole saga was when the SD told me one thing in his office as he was chewing my behind and then completely denied it when I told my supervisor about it... and I wasn't going to argue with him about it because there were customers in close ear range and I knew better.... so, after spending that shift throwing up the blood that comes with a reactivated bleeding ulcer, I quit my job...
I didn't need that added stress... If I had wanted my job to be as stressful as my house I would have stayed at home... But I guess I should have asked the bossman what he wanted me to do first because one day he tells me I can wait until the new coffee drive through opens and take the job I was offered and a few days later he becomes nasty and we argue about the money I am not making working one or two days a week... then he tells me that he did not say I could wait, he said I needed to work at THE coffee shop, the one I got rid of, the one that the owners want me to work at because they can't seem to keep help there and they know I will bring in lots of customers if I was to be working steady... so I called them and they told me they would see... after all the phone calls asking me to work for them they said they would see...
Then I argued with Mrfit some more about the fact that he expects me to work full time and clean this house up after him and boo at the same time... while he goes and does what makes him happy when he is not at work... while he ignores the fact that his family wanted him to spend time with them... while he, for whatever reason, chooses to believe that I have no feelings or dreams or desires of my own and will drop everything and do his bidding...
Life to me for the last month has not seemed real fair... no matter how much I work on improving myself or the environment around me, I never seem to get real far... No matter how happy I get, there is always something one of them will do to make me depressed and unhappy....
I spent a lot of the time that I was not on here crying in addition to cleaning... crying and praying... I have been offered three different jobs in the last week so I am praying about those...
On a brighter note, it is spring time here in Montana... I have green plants known as day lilies growing on the eastern wall of my house... I also saw the peaks of some daffodils coming out as I was cleaning the dog pen yesterday...The roses that are on the same wall also have buds on them.... You might ask me so what??.... But before you do... I STILL HAVE SNOW ON MOST OF THE GROUND IN MY YARD.... So it is a very big deal to me
 God bless you all and I will be back tomorrow ... And I have missed all of you
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