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January 31 FIRNLATTE OF THE DAY: AMARETTO STINGER AMARETTO AND CR. DE. MENTHE
WACKY WORD WEDNESDAY
firn: n. snow that is partially consolidated by thawing and freezing but
has not converted to glacial ice.
I have been working all week... We had a corporate visit on Monday and we had to clean all the back rooms and all the front areas really well... On Monday, the deli supervisor had me clean the meat and cheese chunks from the slicers... not the blades or the blade units... just the excess meat and cheese parts that fall...needless to say, I got my fingernail caught between two pieces of metal on the cheese slicer and tore the nail off and a good chunk of skin...I could not get it to stop bleeding... it didn't really hurt all that bad... just kept bleeding... it wasn't until the sink wouldn't drain that the assistant deli supervisor or the corporate supervisor took notice of what I had said to them before....soooooooo off to the front end I went to tell the csm on duty to call medcor and then take me to the urgent care to get my finger looked at.... it is probably a good thing it wasn't with the blade because it takes an act of great measure to get anything done... and then there was no one to take me and stay with me so they had someone take me and drop me off and someone else go pick me up...
my finger is ok... it looks gross and hurts when I change the dressing but it is ok... nothing really to stitch because it took the nail and top layers of skin.... but I am on restricted duty for a week... no doing dishes... no standing water or chemicals... limited lifting, climbing, crawling, bending.... my daughter has been doing my hair for me...
With that... Nothing else has changed much... I do have a sort of peace inside again... but that came because I realized that nothing is ever going to change until the kids just move out... at least the two younger ones... I don't know how to fight something like this because I am tired of all of it... they were not raised the way they act now... they did not see it as they were growing up... this all came from when I went to work for myself full time... they are selfish, rude, nasty... and mostly to me... and I know where they learned it... because the other half started the same time... when I was out in the public and didn't have him sitting above God 100% of the time... everyone sees how they are... They comment to me all the time about it... offering me advice and such... but it isn't as easy as words are...
I love my family... but sometimes I just want to strangle them...
January 27 Brithdays and missing childrenLATTE OF THE DAY: COFFEE ALEXANDER KAHLUA, AMARETTO, CHOCOLATE
Yesterday was my birthday... I turned a whole big whopping 38... I know I know... that is not all that old... but I have spent more of my lifetime as a parent than anything else... I have done a lot of good and a lot of bad... I prefer to hang out with people that are older than myself...
Do I feel old? No... Do my kids think I am old? Yes, but what kid doesn't think their parents are old and don't understand...
What did I do the last few days? I am glad you asked... let me tell you the shortest version possible, starting with Wednesday night...
I went to church and helped with the class I teach ... I then went to work at the deli until midnight.... while I was at the deli, I received phones call from a couple of friends telling me that a 3 year old was missing from right around the corner where I live... this is not the best time of year for a child that young to go missing... the stories we were getting were too varied and most 3 year olds do not just unbuckle and wander off... something didn't sound right about the whole situation to me... but there was nothing I could do about any of it until after I got off work... when I did get off work, I went home and grabbed some warmer clothes... My oldest was walking up the driveway to see if I was home yet, as he was already searching for little boy... So we hopped in my blazer and went searching some more... finally about 2 am our time, we went and grabbed some quick burgers and went to bed because we both had to be back to work in a few hours...
I spent part of Thursday working, and part of it searching... there were so many people in our neighborhood... there were even more praying ceaselessly for the safe return of the little boy... Thursday morning was when the stories started popping up about the fact that mom and dad were seperated and that there was some sort of male salesman going door to door in that part of our neighborhood all afternoon... Dad was picking up the boys when the child disappeared... He had put the child in the car and returned to the house to get the baby... Now there is still a possibility that the boy did just wander off... and there is a creek that runs close to where the child disappeared from... it is about 100 yards from where i live... and is about the same from where the boy disappeared... so it is a possiblity that he wandered off and fell into the creek... but they have had boats in the creek since Wednesday night and foot patrol and dog units going up and down the creek as well... Like I said something just doesn't add up to me...
Yesterday, my birthday, I had to go get my paycheck and happened upon the problem person I have at work... she seems to think that I am making too much out of the fact that mom and dad are seperated and the fact that there are 3 registered sex offenders in that neighborhood and the fact that there was a salesman in the same area... she seems to think that all 3 year olds unbuckle and wander off even though both parents, both sets of grandparents and everyone that knew the child says the child is not a wanderer and would not just go off like that... he was too shy and timid... didn't like strangers or strange places... and I tried to explain that to her but she was sticking with the creek theory ...
Late last night, my husband called me... actually if we want to get technical it was early this morning.... the boy had been found sometime between when he left for work at 10:30 pm mst and 1:30 am mst... he said they had a good portion of two roads blocked off with the firetrucks and one driveway as well... this driveway to me has always been suspicious of something but that in itself is another blog... this driveway is on the other side of the block and creek from where the kid disappeared from... I will ask those that I can ask about that part later...
But they found the child... he is dead... and he was in the creek... and I don't have the answers I need... something still isn't sitting right because as I said, there were many many searchers in the creek...on the creek around the creek... and not just the same ones over and over... there were several different groups searching each others perimeters all the days... and re-searching areas... There are too many unanswered questions in my mind...
I then spent the evening yesterday going out to dinner with my oldest... the middle child went to a friend's house for the day and night, telling me my present would wait (as if I believed that he actually got one)... my daughter and youngest decided that my no to her wanting to go to a fitness team carnival at the school was actually indeed a yes she could go and that she could stay and clean up if she just told me what to do... So my oldest went and got her for me at 8 pm... not letting her help clean up until 9 or 10 like she said... you give her an inch and she wants the entire mile... my other half slept all day and all evening... that is until he woke up and wanted cake and got mad at me that I hadn't cut it yet so he could have some... he wouldn't just go cut it himself when I said I didn't want any at the moment... so I ended my birthday with a fight over a stupid cake that I myself had to go buy and that I was too full to eat any of... I had had enough...
I went to bed...
I got his phone call in the wee hours of the morning about the little boy... he will act like nothing is wrong when he gets home in a little while... and I, too, will act as if nothing is wrong... for nothing is wrong... everything is exactly how it always is...
I think part of the lesson God wants me to learn is to be content in what I have and let HIM stress over what the rest are doing... but it hurts that they treat me like the Egyptians treated the Isrealites...
I have a full 6 day work week this week... my supervisor is going on vacation and I am picking up the hours for her... it will no doubt cause chaos in my household but that is ok... it is for them to deal with... not me...
Yes hearts, a vacation without them is in order but I can't even go out with my friends without Mrfit saying if I did he would take the day off and go with me... so I don't think I will be allowed out anywhere without some major repercussions and I am not ready or strong enough to deal with those at the moment... so I will quietly pray and wait and keep plugging away at my days... I will continue to love my family unconditionally and struggle to teach them to be responsible humans inspite of the fights they put up about it all...
Soon I will blog about the comment that sent me on this tailspin I am in... soon ...
God bless you all and keep you all safe in His arms...
January 24 EbullienceLATTE OF THE DAY: IRISH ROSE IRISH CREAM AND RASPBERRY
WORD OF THE DAY:
EBULLIENT: adj. filled with enthusiasm. ebullience n., ebulliently adv.
I am so sick and tired of being in trouble all the dang time... I am going to be 38 years old on Friday and I still get into trouble for doing things...
I can remember being in trouble when we first got married for not paying the bills and having money to go do the fun things that he and the kids wanted to do... Now I get into trouble for paying the bills and not leaving money to play on...
I used to get into trouble for not having set times of doing things, for not being more responsible. Now I am in trouble for being too rigid...
I used to be in trouble for not thinking ahead and planning things out... you know living for the day... Now I get into trouble for not having a plan...
I used to get into trouble for not opening up to those I live with... NOW I am in trouble for even opening my mouth...
I used to get into trouble for knowing more than others... NOW I am always in trouble for knowing more... I get into trouble for suggesting alternate ways of doing things... I get into trouble for suggesting or even doing things differently than what someone else wanted...
I have tried to be what everyone wants and I am NOW in trouble because I can't meet anyone's expectation of what I should be doing... The nasty looks I get from everyone else that lives in this house... the mean comments... the lack of respect...
I know they love me... that isn't the issue... but there is little shown and it has shaken my faith... I know GOD will guide me through all this and I should be grateful and ebullent that I do have as much as I do but the frail human emotions inside of me aren't... I hurt and feel rejected, unwanted and unloved... I feel the only reason any of them want me around is to clean up after them and to do their bidding...
Even as I type this, I am getting into trouble for asking Mrfit if he wanted to use my cell phone to make a long distance phone call instead of the house phone that will cost more...
Satan takes on many forms... in this house, it has been predominantly self-centeredness and "me first". NO one respects the personal belongings or the space of the others that reside here and yet everyone yells and gets angry if another touches something that does not belong to them... The same thing is said over and over and over..."Why do I have to do it? Why can't you (meaning me)?
I have cried and prayed about this... and cried some more... and prayed some more... and cried and prayed and cried and prayed...
Keep praying... and wait upon the Lord... for HE will walk with me and guide me and show me HIS way... January 21 Be anxious for nothingLATTE OF THE DAY: ALABAMA SLAMMER AMARETTO AND PEACH
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything
by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving,let your requests be known to God,
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding , shall guard your hearts
and your minds in Jesus Christ.
Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing: do not worry about anything......
but in everything: that means everything we do.... our day to day struggles on our path... our day to day joys... our day to day life...
by prayer and supplication: it means to pray and ask God... pray with ACTS: Adoration, confession, transgression, supplication ... (I will get to those at a later time)
with thanksgiving: be thankful for everything you have and do not have... have a thankful heart and attitude... sometimes God's answer to our prayers is no
the peace of God: that is a peace deep inside each and every one of us which Jesus willed to us before he died... an inner peace that we will not and do not understand that calms us in the darkest trials we may have... a peace that touches our hearts and souls when we feel broken and lost...
shall guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ: with that peace, not even Satan can touch the deep parts of us...
If, in everything we do, we do not worry but, instead, give it all to God, thankfully and trustingly, there is nothing that can take away the peace that God has intended for us... we shall have joy and peace, which are two of the fruits of the Holy Spirit...
It does not mean we will not feel pain or emptiness... it does not mean we will not have struggles to deal with day to day... it does not mean we will have things easy... no, on the contrary, it mean we are to not worry about any of it... we are to give it to God and listen for instructions and obey what we are told...
The inner struggles come from when we do not listen or do not want to obey...
Does this help me with the struggles I am trying to deal with as of late? No, I am afraid... I am human and give it to God and then take it back... I have not found the peace that should come...
Perhaps, I have not yet asked of God something which is time for... perhaps, I am to wait upon God more... perhaps I have not learned what it is God wants me to learn... January 17 De Wacky wordLATTE OF THE DAY: CARAMELLA AND VANILLA
WACKY WORD WEDNESDAY
DIFFIDENT: adj. lacking confidence in oneself; timid. diffidence n., diffidently adj.
I wonder if being diffident leads to shyness or are both a cause of the same thing? I lack certain confidences in myself but I am not all that timid... I don't like going into certain places by myself but that doesn't make me timid...
When I started out on this blog quest I have used it to get things out, to sort things out that I needed to get out... as I got more out, I needed to use it less as that and more as just a release... just to let myself have a place....
Now I need it once again to figure things out... so stick with me...and please offer any and all advice that God would have you give me... I have learned over the years to think about all things given to me even if I don't use them...
I don't understand the hold that Satan has on my household... it isn't just my household, though, I am afraid... but it is my household I have to deal with day in and day out... I am afraid I don't know how to not show my emotions as my family would have it... I don't know how not to feel as the slaves of the past did as all my family wants from me is to be just that... their little slave... I can only imagine the Israelites going day in and day out to clean up after a people that were too lazy to do anything for themselves... I don't understand how come my needs and my wants and my desires are of no value to anyone other than myself and I get made to feel condemned for having any thoughts of them for myself... I get told to do one thing but I best not make any plans for myself because someone will change them to suit themselves...
I don't know how to fight this anymore and it is eating me alive on the inside... I gave up my dreams for this family that is unwilling to change the things that we all acknowledge is tearing us apart and bad for us... I don't feel like my years at college did me any good because I am not allowed to use it at all because it makes one of them feel stupid...
I just don't know anymore....
God please help me to understand... Show me what I must do... January 16 Random RamblingsLATTE OF THE DAY: DARK CHOCOLATE MOCHA WITH A SPLASH OF VANILLA BEAN
I had an epiphany the other day... I am getting older... I am not the young one I once was... Strange as it sounds, it hit me all of a sudden...
Oh I knew that I couldn't do some of the things I once did... I can no longer run a 6 minute mile nor would I choose to unless God was waiting at the end to grab me and take me home...
The wisdom that comes with the years outways the actions that you can do with youth... when you are young, you think you know things that as you get older and look back... you didn't know near as much as you thought you did... you discover easier ways of accomplishing the same tasks...
The dream I had and the week that followed it started me on the road to the epiphany... but it was only the start... there was the stark realization that my youngest is going to 14 this year... or the fact that I have been married for 14 years... or the fact that my second son will be 18 in 5 months... where did all the time go???
By youth, I do not mean pre-18 I mean those youthful adult years....
There are things that I would do in my youth that I would not even dream of considering now... there were things I would not do in my youth that I think are pretty fun to do now... I am content now to just sit in the quiet and read or listen to God... I would not have done that in my youth... there was too much to do... too much to see...
The walls I had up in my youth came down a long time ago... I noticed some new ones coming up trying to rebuild over the ones that came down... I noticed that I have little patience for those that want to do stupid things that I too would have tried to do in my youth...
Why do I still feel so young? I mean not age wise... I feel my age there... no this feeling young comes from within... I don't know near as much as I thought I did... I long to learn... to know more... but don't know what it is I long to learn or where to find what I want to learn...
There is so much confusion inside my mind... so much I want to get out... so much I need to get out... There is an emptiness inside me now that was not there 5 years ago... I don't know where it came from or when it started developing... I just know it is there and I will have to let it all out in order to figure it out within myself...
There is nothing I can't solve with God's help... Sometimes God uses other people to help when those ask of HIM to help them... January 14 Forgotten timesLATTE OF THE DAY: WHITE CHOCOLATE AND HAZELNUT
I haven't been on much lately... I haven't done much of late... I have been on and checked a couple of sites but as for blogging, I haven't, or couldn't figure out what to write... so much has gone on... some good ... some bad... some heartbreaking... some soul searching...
The night of the 4th, I had a very, very strange dream... I didn't understand the meaning of it... I understood the dream itself... but I couldn't understand why I was having it and with whom all was in it... I knew and know that things in the house have not been as grand as they once were and I realize that things change all the time and that is what perplexed me about this dream...
NO - I am not going to tell you what the dream was... just know that some of the things I have done in my life have not always been good choices... fun choices yes... good Godly choices NO...
This dream perplexed me because it was entirely about some of those fun things I used to do... and some of the friends that I have moved on from ... some by my choice ... some by their choice... some simply by life going different directions for all involved...
On January 5th, there was a head on car crash... I was not told a name of the person who died from it unil the 10th... Normally, when the department that my husband is on rolls on a medical, it doesn't affect me... I say a prayer for the family and friends of those involved because I know how much the afterfact affects everyone around...
So between the time of the car crash and the 10th, I recalled the dream ... was troubled by it really... Then, at the church where I help teach missionettes, I was told the name of the person who died in the car crash... Perhaps I was told because this person was involved in the county's search and rescue team and dive team and well, to be blunt, was involved in the same circle of people I was to an extent...I was dumbfounded... speechless, actually... just kind of went numb...
Thursday morning, I went and got a coffee from a friend of mine and she had Wednesday's paper... So I opened it to read the obituary that I was dreading to read... There is was in black and white... my once dear friend who would do ANYTHING with me and for me was no longer there for me to flirt with when we did bump into each other... no longer there for any one... I worked my shift at the deli that day and came home and tried to talk to Mrfit about it...
He was too busy for me as usual...
So I mourned alone... But I did more than just mourn... I thought a lot about the past 18 years... The time that I have lived in Kalispell... I thought about all the people I have met... and all the choices I have made... All the friends that I have had come and go in my life and I in theirs...
I have been so busy and so caught up in day to day life things, that I have forgotten to remember the smaller things in life... I have put aside some of the things that make me me...
It is good to look back once in awhile from where we are from... It is good to look forward to where we want to be... The look back reminds us of choices we made and bumps we have hit on our journey...
Until later, God bless and keep us all safe January 10 Wacky word and someLATTE OF THE DAY: AMARETTO CREAM AMARETTO AND VANILLA
WACKY WORD WEDNESDAY
CO-QUETTE: N. A WOMAN WHO FLIRTS
HMMMM Do we know any co-quettes? Are we a bit of a co-quette ourselves? I have had to think back at my actions, my thoughts, my behaviors.... I would say that on more than one occasion I have used what God has given to me to get what I want.... Is it right? Is it wrong??? Yes to both...
But in the process of thinking on this, I have also thought of other things... My question for everyone and the one I have kept asking myself and those church leaders that actually acknowledge that I even exist is this: DOES GOD TAKE AWAY ONE TALENT WHEN YOU DON'T USE IT OR MISUSE IT AND REPLACE IT WITH ANOTHER?
I know that I have always had certain talents... God's gracious gift to me was/is something that I have not always appreciated but have always used... I went through the majority of high school with one child and managed to get A's and B's without trying too hard... I went through almost 4 years of college with two boys and got A's and B's with little trouble... By trouble I mean schoolwise... there were other issues I was dealing with, struggling to get through, but the smarts come naturally.... the craftiness comes naturally... the music used to come naturally....
Oh, I can still pick up just about any instrument and play it with ease, but the feelings from within... the soul that made the music feel something isn't there anymore... hasn't been in awhile... Perhaps, I was just fooling myself that I had a greater talent there when I was younger but I don't think so... perhaps, it is just that I am getting older and my dreams and goals and reality has changed... but that is a drastic change from where I was 15 years ago...
I can still pick up a book and learn with ease... I can see a pattern for my crafts and do it with ease but the music I don't feel it like I used to... so DOES GOD TAKE ONE AND REPLACE WITH ANOTHER FOR HIS GREATER PURPOSE IF WE DO NOT USE IT? HOW ABOUT IF WE ABUSE IT?
January 08 an email to share...LATTE OF THE DAY: VANILLANUT VANILLA WITH A HINT OF HAZELNUT
When we went out to dinner for our anniversary, we went to this little place called the cottage inn. It used to be a bar but went out of business... it sold and advertises itself as a classier place with a full bar... needless to say I was not impressed with the menu or the "full bar"... there were not many choices to eat unless we wanted pizza... the full bar consisted of very expensive wines from every country but our own... I don't know about other places in the country but the starting price for a glass of that wine was $7.00... which is about $3.00 more than the real classy places that he has taken me to in the past... I am not complaining about it at all... It was great time with him... then we went home and watched tv together for about 4 hours... it was a blast.... no kids no fights... just the two of us... I really wish we would have more times like that... I miss the way we were 14 years ago...
On to another topic....I received something in my email that has made me think a lot... Actually, to be honest, it is stuff that I have been thinking about for a very long time... it is just that this email kind of surprised me... I never saw the footage it speaks of... although I don't think it would be that hard to find it... but someone took the words from the footage and well I will let you read the entire thing........
If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad. Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don' t feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?" In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about and we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW." Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing? Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
I leave you with this... for we have a treasure when we believe and are not afraid to share Yet we who have this spiritual treature are like common clay pots, in order to show that the supreme power belongs to God, not to us. We are often troubled but not crushed; sometimes in doubt, but never in despair. there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend, and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4: 7-9
January 03 wacky word...LATTE OF THE DAY: TARTE TATIN FRENCH VANILLA, APPLE AND CINNAMON
WACKY WORD WEDNESDAY BEDLAM: (n) a state or situation of confusion
One could say that the world is in a bedlam of sorts... Yesterday, I took all the Latte of the day's and made a list of them.... I will add the new ones each week... perhaps will start a list that reads 2007...
January 02 Rear views and footprints...LATTE OF THE DAY: SOFT JOLT VANILLA AND CREME DE CACAO
Note to self: New Year resolutions... 1) grow more spiritually... 2) grow more intellectually... learn lots of new things... 3) attempt to stop smoking... I won't say stop because I have tried before and need to do things differently so will start differently by saying I am going to attempt it... with God's help this time....
A "wise" man once sang about a little observed or noticed sign that is often nowadays posted on a mirror... it says objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are... So it goes with our past... those things we see in our own personal rear view mirror appear closer than they are...
So why, then, are they so dominating in our lives today? And why, if those things in our lives ride our tailgates, do we not see farther in the past as well?
Our experiences shape our lives...the good and the bad... but, more often than not, when we look in our rear view mirrors what we see most is the bad... for some it causes anger, depression, denial... for others, there is moving on, but I have to wonder if there is really moving on if they are popping up in the mirror to our inner beings..... Remembering our past... is a good thing, as long as we have learned from it and moved on to where we need to be in the present... Looking back can be helpful when we hit a fork in our present day journeys towards the GREAT I AM...
There will be more on this at a later date... but for now I want to leave something... We have all seen it and have all heard at least part of it...
Footprints in the Sand
One night a mand had a dream.
He dreamed he was walkingalong the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it:
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The Lord replied:
"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
When you look back what do you see???? Who was carrying you then????
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